Sunday, April 5, 2020

Adjusting My Grip: While I Wait - Chapter 2 - God Will Not be Pushed from Behind


Chapter 2 - God Will Not be Pushed from Behind

“In your patience possess ye your souls.”
                                                          Luke 21:19

I grew up with a dad that worked in the same job for 30+ years. Because they chose to have my Dad finish his degree and my mom stay home to raise their seven children, my dad always had about 3 jobs in order to make that work. But he had those jobs for decades. It doesn’t take science or data to see that paradigm evolving.

See for a hundred years or more, the Saints were sequestered in a way, out here in the wide-open Western United States. It made outsiders nervous. I can see how it would do that. We had customs and practices that seemed odd and other-worldly to those “on the outside.” It has taken a long time for us to be mainstreamed into the world.

I like to think of the church as having four levels of practice: Formal policy and revelation, practiced procedure, advice and information and finally, good ‘ole common sense. Some of it comes across the pulpits twice a year at the formal General Conferences or the weekly Sacrament Meetings. This vital information and/or inspiration is addressed to the general population of the church from the leadership of the church, the prophets, seers and revelators. Revelation is God-given. It is rare and drives faith.

Practiced procedures are important to a growing, international church to provide unity. The Lord is all about unity and becoming “as one.”

The Lord’s prophets have always called for unity. The need for that gift to be granted to us and the challenge to maintain it will grow greater in the days ahead, in which we will be prepared as a people for our glorious destiny.[1]

Advice and information come from authorized church publicized media. However, I can see in my lifetime alone, that the church would rather you get personal advice from God himself through the Holy Ghost. When I was a pre-teen in the 70’s, I actually read an article from a church magazine that said "women should do everything they can to appear attractive to their husbands," and when a woman takes the sacrament she shouldn’t throw her head back like a man does – it’s “uncomely.” Pretty sure the Lord had nothing to do with that advice, but I remember as a young girl wondering what it meant to “throw your head back.” It worried me weekly until I figured it out. Strange that a little thing like that would matter so much and stick with me for so long. But as a kid, I abided by any rule that promised me a pay-off. Apparently, I thought that if you threw your head back when you took the sacrament you would never get a husband. I still don’t throw my head back. We would be hard-pressed to find an article like that these days.

Finally, a very wide and sometimes abused form of practice in any community or religious group: common sense. This category changes as rapidly as society changes. In most religions, we are often conflicted with what is politically acceptable today and what is acceptable by God. We tend to think that society is further ahead...in a modern way. There is a constant feeling that God isn’t keeping up with the times.

Latter-Days Saints don’t even want to be called Mormon anymore. We change too.... it just takes us a little longer. We're faithfully on God's time. We believe that He is working hard to answer our prayers, to fill in the blessings that we feel we are “owed” for righteous living, but even God can’t alter man’s free will. Knowing that has helped me take a breath through my trials, and apply some of that hard-earned patience. I’ve learned to wait. I’ve learned to say how blessed I am that I have the truth of the gospel and how it expands my patience, gives me true purpose for living and has made the waiting tolerable. Whatever. It doesn't make it easier, but I've learned to say it. 

I’m waiting for a few things to happen in my life that I perceive will make me happy but waiting is horrible. I get utterly depressed when those things don’t happen at the speed in which I perceive it will take the depression away.  In a clichéd nutshell, if my trials and disappointments are not teaching me something, what's their use? Why live through it? Why go on? Trust creates endurance. It’s a vicious awful cycle of pain..er..education. I’m a fast learner! Why does it seem like I have to repeat these lessons over and over?

Oh. Endurance...Enduring to the end… a virtue above all other virtues.

And - hope. See, if every prayer we uttered in our loneliness and impatience was answered the instant we asked, there would be no need for hope. And I've needed hope in my life. Hope has gotten me out of bed sometimes. Hope can give us those dreams and expectations. In hope, we can have anticipation for happiness. We can truly say that “we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things.[2]

It’s really tough to endure all things until we learn to “be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times.[3]  So we continue to hold onto the iron rod and adjust our grip as we learn those things. Don’t let go, though. Believe me, don’t let go.

It all goes back to time. Time is relative, elusive and human. In fact, as I sit here, I can hear two different clocks ticking away, reminding me that time is a human invention and what is that old saying? We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Sounds like something I cross-stitched for my hope chest when I was in eighth grade.

Another cliché born out of the truth.

Having true patience is knowing that time is relative and that I need to relax and can wait without losing hope. I CAN WAIT. I just don’t want to. It’s painful to see my dreams being fulfilled by people around me...and not...me. I don’t have to rush myself, give up on my eternal goals or push someone else (least of all God) to get to the things I need or want.

Let me be clear: waiting is just standing around. Waiting with patience or what we call “waiting on the Lord” is patience by allowing God time to perform His part too. We trust that by doing all that we can, God will expand our effort and make it greater than it could ever be if we attempted to go through this life by ourselves. However hard we might want to push God from behind, trust that He is working as fast as He can - hand in hand with US.

God isn’t just standing around. Can you look back and see the hand of God working miracles and magic in your life? It defies explanation to me sometimes - except that I have faith and I know that it is because of His love for me that He wants me back there, with Him, again. He is my F.A.T.H.E.R. He’s working hard! But only as hard as human time and agency will allow.

Today in the LDS church, I believe we are moving toward a modern sensibility, albeit slowly, and FAR too slowly for some. The human clock moves at the speed of light today, however, God will not be pushed from behind. The great Plan of Salvation is what it is. We work through it individually and as couples. Therein also lies the great heartache of my life and why I have needed hope, patience, submission and endurance.

In D. Todd Christofferson’s conference talk called “Why Marriage, Why Family,” he explains the great and eternal plan of happiness in a way that helped me understand my commission toward it.

Elder Christofferson iterates a letter that Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian, wrote to his niece on her wedding day. He told her:

“Marriage is more than your love for each other. … In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office…[4]

Prophets have revealed that when we were first nothing more than intelligences, God looked around and wanted to give us all an opportunity to advance as He had done. What a great dad! So he created the great “Plan of Salvation” or “Plan of Happiness” as it is also called. In order for it to work (everybody who chooses to follow it would have eternal happiness), He set up the following pattern:

1.         He created a place where a mortal body could live - Earth
2.         We experience the condition of mortality - tested outside the presence of God
3.         We are redeemed from our sins by Jesus Christ on the condition of repentance
4.         We turn around and provide mortal bodies for other spirits to do the same

So it is in that commission that we have, as Latter-day Saints been asked to create families. In 1976, President Kimball, seeing this tide coming, said, “Come home wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and (unembarrassed) help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously wait.” It seems old-fashioned, doesn’t it?  Yet - I understand it easily and comfortably. I got a body, I have a uterus - I need to pay it forward. But the world doesn’t always see it like that. The resistance would say that we are putting women in a corner, and it gets stronger by the day. Even marriage seems like an old-fashioned, out-dated paradigm today. Still, I have felt the ache to nurture children all my life. It isn’t something I was brainwashed to do - I was born with this predilection, this tendency, this propensity. Am I old-fashioned? Ridiculously repressed? Nope. It’s just me. Would I drag women out of the workplace to stay home and raise babies? I’ve been bringing home the bacon for 30 years. So no. But I would sure trade somebody for that life. Ha! The grass is always greener...

So after years and years of waiting and working, it was on March 11, 2006 that I knelt across an alter from my best friend, Andy Hunsaker to be sealed to him “for time and all eternity.” The officiator admonished us, as they do to all couples, to “finish the work of the Lord by multiplying and replenishing the Earth.” There was nothing I wanted more than to create my own tribe at that point and time was running out. But hurdle one? Done!

Silly me. I had already obtained my bachelor's degree from the university of patience and I didn’t even know it. Was I ready to do the rest “in God’s time too?”

  
Recipe for Chapter 2
Patience  and Long-Suffering Bread


3 cups of All Purpose Flour
1/2 tsp Active Dry Yeast - no more than that. It can be “fast acting” too if you want.
1 ½ tsp salt
1 ½ cups hot water

Mix dry ingredients together in a big bowl and add hot water. Dough will be sticky and shaggy. Leave it in the bowl and seal the bowl off with plastic wrap. Leave the bowl on the counter for 3 - 8 hours. Patience!

Let’s say that you forgot about it and left it there for eight hours - who cares! That’s okay. This bread will have patience for you too.

Once the waiting is over and the dough has risen to about double in size, turn your oven on to 450 degrees and pre-heat a 6 quart cast iron dutch oven. Once the oven is ready gently roll the dough out onto a well-floured surface. DO NOT KNEAD IT. The dough will be loose, fluffy and bubbly. All you are going to do at this point is gently shape it into a ball and then place the ball of dough on a piece of 11’ x 18” parchment paper.

Carefully pull the corners of the parchment paper up and lift the dough ball down into your pre-heated dutch oven. Seal the lid on tight. You can let the paper stick out. Bake, covered for 30  minutes. Uncover and bake for another 10 - 15 minutes until the top is golden to dark brown. Let it sit out the dutch oven, for about 5 minutes before you cut it.

Eat. It. All. With. Butter.

The pay-off is incredible. The best things come to those who wait.



[1] Our Hearts Knit As One, Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, November, 2009
[2] Article of Faith #13
[3] Alma 7:23
[4]Why Marriage, Why Family,” Elder D.Todd Christofferson, Ensign, May 2015


Homework Assignment for Chapter 2


I know you're going to think I'm nuts, but read D. Todd Christofferson’s conference talk (May, 2015) “Why Marriage, Why Children.” 

  1. Write down how you feel about your role in the Plan of Salvation:



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