Saturday, April 11, 2020

Chapter 6: Group 3 Waiting for Further Light and Knowledge

I think this is the chapter that gets publishers on edge. 

I have had such a steel focus for the audience to whom I was speaking in the other chapters in the book. This chapter vexes me. It is my dearest hope that we will recognize the groups of Latter-day Saints that feel as though they sit on the fringe of the gospel and bring them into the center in fellowship with those of us that have more traditional trials. I write this chapter for them and for us. 

CHAPTER 6:  GROUP 3 - Waiting for Further Light and Knowledge

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
Tom Bodett



There is a film I love called The Imitation Game. It’s about Alan Turing, the man that invented a computer during World War II, consequently cracking the enigma code and saving 14 million lives. At the end of the film, I was sobbing because of the way this war hero had been treated in 1945. He had so obviously helped the allies win the war.

At the end of the film, the epilogue explains that this brilliant scientist had eventually taken his own life; undoubtedly, it was implied, because in Britain at the time homosexuality was against the law and he had been convicted of gross indecency for it and sentenced to prison. However, he opted for chemical castration rather than imprisonment so that he could continue his work. While suffering this indignity, he could not think, could not focus on his cutting-edge computer science work and consequently died just a year into his “sentence” – at his own hand.

On our way out of the movie I overheard a woman say to her husband, “it was such a good movie, except why did they have to put in all that [stuff] about him being gay?” I nearly turned to chew on her - but  - I didn’t. I wondered why the postlude at the end of the movie didn’t make her cry too.

I obviously belong to a religion that struggles with these heightened “modern sensibilities” (a phrase I have been using lately.) As of January 2020, there are between 71-74 countries in the world in which homosexuality is still against their laws. 12 of those will still punish you to your death if you are caught in a homosexual relationship.

Years ago, I was asked by one of my beloved children (a student) one day “Do you hate me because I’m gay? To which I responded, “Do you hate me because I’m Mormon?” He helped me understand that he would always be gay, and I helped him understand that I would always be a Latter-day Saint. We both decided we loved each other and maintain a priceless relationship to this day.

I want to write about my perception of the LGBTQ+ community and how they absolutely fit into God’s kingdom. Ok? Can you mainstreamers keep reading even if you believe this precious group of our brothers and sisters is just choosing sin? I hope you can. And if you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, can you keep reading with faith that there is a place for you in God’s kingdom and that you are a beloved child of heavenly parents that need you to make and keep covenants to return to Them? I believe it. I know it will be a journey that only you and your Heavenly Parents can go through together. We’ll talk about the sanctity and privacy of that journey later…

But...let’s begin.

One of the hardest things about being single in the LDS church is that we are asked to be celibate until we're married. 

That's right. Celibate. I said. Not Celebrate. Contrary to what some people think about us we celebrate everything. Ha! This is c.e.l.i.b.a.t.e. until we are married legally.

Usually, the word celibate is connected to Catholic priests and nuns and followed by "those poor men and women...what a sacrifice they make, their whole lives." And there is some kind of revered holiness surrounding that decision that we feel for them. Some kind of pedestal. Right?

Except when I think of Catholic nuns I think of the Nunsense series of musicals by Dan Goggin and I instantly crave donning my habit to "sing out Louise!" I've got the best memories of playing Sister Robert Anne in Utah county theatres. Has it been four or five times? I've forgotten. That horribly hot costume with 5 layers of black and white. The penguin jokes. The tap shoes, the Bingo games with the audience and the CTR ring prizes (Catholics Totally Rule). Obviously, I chose the musical theatre path and not a convent.

But from age 18 to age 41 it felt like it nonetheless.

I digress.

Let me quote this before I go on, this is something I truly believe:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”[1]

So many of my spiritual brothers and sisters are struggling to live in the Church of Jesus Christ as single celibate Latter-day Saints. My single friends that are holding to the iron rod of the gospel come in several categories and there aren’t just the four we are talking about here in this book. All of them are potential Gods and Goddesses.

See, I can name two dozen female friends over 30, and a hundred more over 20, off the top of my head that are living celibate lives as they believe to be commanded by God to do so. I have a few celibate male friends that are open gay Saints “fighting the fight” as we straight Saints like to say (white-knuckling the iron rod with an eye single to the glory of God.) Heaven bless them. I pray for them every day because I remember how hard it was for me all those years. I used to be SOOOO BUGGED that we seemed to have more empathy for them than we do for the single sisters in our church that are celibate as well and have been for decades and decades.  I just couldn’t figure out why we felt so badly for those LGBTQ+ and kept telling the single ladies “in due time…in due time.” Don't worry - keep reading. I'm not an idiot.

I used to say “I’m celibate too! I’ve been celibate for 40 years and I’m probably going to be celibate for 40 more because God has asked us to be!!” Have you ever said that? Yeah, I used to say that and only that. Shame on me. It used to seem like that was the answer. Don’t stop reading now…my enlightenment is coming up.

In my mind, whether or not the LDS church would allow gay Latter-day Saints in its doors has never been an issue for me. Half the men that sang at my mission farewell were gay returned missionaries. The intensity of same-sex attraction is not a measure of your faithfulness. Let me say that again: The intensity of same-sex attraction is not a measure of your faithfulness. I know a few openly gay men that still go to church, still pay their tithing, still pray for the answers like we all do. But so many of them are no longer on a covenant path and have fallen away because it is so difficult for so many reasons. Before my personal enlightenment, the issue was only about celibacy...

And waiting for further light and knowledge from the Lord. Right? In my simple mind I would say “Hey, we’re all asked to be celibate if we aren’t married. Deal with it! But it’s not that simple. Here’s what all the hullabaloo is about:

My straight friends search with hope which increases faith and my gay friends just…w.a.i.t. for further light and knowledge.

The single Latter-day Saint uses the hope they have to be sealed in the temple and have children one day. But the single, gay, Latter-day Saint must wait for… for Christ to come? The gay Latter-day Saint certainly doesn’t wait for his/her homosexual feelings to go away as some LDS people still think is possible. IT’S NOT POSSIBLE. In a heartbreaking talk with one of my students, he told me he can’t remember a time in his life when he didn’t look at boys differently from girls. He remembers drawing pictures of his wedding in Fourth Grade with him and another boy from his class standing in front of the Salt Lake Temple, hand in hand. He also remembers the very minute he was told that wasn’t going to happen for him. I wished I could wrap my arms around him ten times as he brought me into his humble heart to feel the ache he was enduring.

I’ve waited patiently and prayed for further light and knowledge for this boy since, and ALL the kids that have trusted me with these kinds of conversations I call “dress rehearsals” for the moment they will come out to their real parents. I’ve seen this particular boy struggle with patience, give up, come back to the gospel only to leave again in even deeper hurt. I’ve heard his sweet testimony of the restored church right, right before they say “My love of God and His gospel prevents me from loving myself.”

Wait...did you hear that? Read it again. I’ll wait.

“My love of God and His gospel, prevents me from loving myself.”

Can you see why there are tears of a different kind, patience to a different extent, sorrow on a different level, and the need for faith of a different magnitude? Can you see why the numbers of faithful single gay Saints in the church are so small? Can you see why they cry out in pain?

Can you see why they need our love and support more than ever and not our shunning and banishment? They aren’t building faith on the same level as the rest of us. We are asking them to be a.l.o.n.e. for the rest of their lives in order to demonstrate their obedience. I laud them for their strength of heart and conviction. I see it every day. Though I have been friends and have taught dozens of amazing people that struggle with their decision to come out, I still have no idea the depth of that loneliness.  I too am waiting for further light and knowledge on their behalf. It is a struggle for me. It is a weapon that Satan uses on me. I have a hard time keeping my armor on when my sweet kids, my students that are so confused, reach out to me for understanding.

As a faithful Latter-day Saint who lives and works in a world populated heavily with homosexual men, I have been asked to write about this more than once. I have always said, passively, “it’s none of my business.” How could I do it without offending my beloved gay friends or broaching my own testimony of the living prophets who have said that homosexuality is a trial and a temptation that must be endured and not acted upon? 

What would Jesus do?

Because that’s what I should do.

In one of Thomas S. Monson’s April Conference talks entitled “Love - The Essence of the Gospel,” he says:

My beloved brothers and sisters, when our Savior ministered among men, He was asked by the inquiring lawyer, “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” Matthew records that Jesus responded:

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Mark concludes the account with the Savior’s statement: “There is none other commandment greater than these.”

We cannot truly love God if we do not love our fellow travelers on this mortal journey. Likewise, we cannot fully love our fellowmen if we do not love God, the Father of us all. The Apostle John tells us, “This commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.” We are all spirit children of our Heavenly Father and, as such, are brothers and sisters. As we keep this truth in mind, loving all of God’s children will become easier.
I would hope that we would strive always to be considerate and to be sensitive to the thoughts and feelings and circumstances of those around us. Let us not demean or belittle. Rather, let us be compassionate and encouraging. We must be careful that we do not destroy another person’s confidence through careless words or actions.

Forgiveness should go hand in hand with love. In our families, as well as with our friends, there can be hurt feelings and disagreements. Again, it doesn’t really matter how small the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to canker, to fester, and ultimately to destroy. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals."[2]

My brothers and sisters that feel isolated from the church you love…I’m sorry that is your experience and you have obviously been treated badly by people that call themselves Latter-day Saints. They are ignorant, ill-advised and the doors of their heart are tightly shut. They act in a way not organically born of the gospel principles because they obviously don’t embrace the gospel principles. They aren’t listening to President Monson. I don’t know where they get their information. A similar case in point, my mother-in-law is from Australia and she converted when she was 19. She married an LDS boy and his very LDS mother told her that she (my mother-in-law) would never have the opportunity to reach the highest degree of heaven because that was only reserved for those that grew up in Utah. WHAAAT?!?! I nearly died when I first heard that. In my naiveté, I guess I thought everyone in the church was on the same page. We strive for that of course. I hope someone is teaching her the truth right now, God rest her soul.

I have a student RIGHT NOW that was put into the foster care system because he came out to his LDS parents as a homosexual. This is the story as I heard it from the parents. I also know of a person that won’t take the sacrament from a certain young priesthood holder. You know when your children need you most? WHEN THEY FEEL THE MOST UNLOVED. We, as parents, are not to be the source of our children’s self-loathing.  That stuff isn’t right.

It's just not right.

But let’s flip that coin.

I hear and read social media posts all the time from bitter former members of the church that are absolutely vitriolic about the LDS Church’s stance on…whatever it is…the family proclamation, baptizing the children of gay parents, women holding the Priesthood, etc… Both camps that are waving the flags of these issues must remember LOVE. Love is the very essence of Godliness.

Please know that we aren’t all like that. Please know that we don’t all live in that little bubble. Also know, from my point of view, you won’t convince the LDS church to change its policies with your badgering or your civil disobedience and negative posts on social media. The people reading your posts already love you. We just wonder why you would offend us, when we are trying so hard to love you? (I speak only to a few of you – just as there are a few ridiculous Latter-day Saints out there too.) I get really tired of the posts that begin “Mormon church..blah, blah, blah… hates the gays….hates women…blah, blah, blah…No one is going to get anywhere screaming hate in any direction.

Can’t we all just be like Jesus? And if you aren’t a Christian anymore, you can still be like Jesus. Ha! He is such a good guy. Ethics exist even if they aren’t religiously based. Right? That’s what the LGBTQ+ community is always telling me.

STILL - the evidence is so clear, so...evident! For those of us that live in a bubble and think the abuse and bullying doesn’t exist anymore, please read this quote from Brother Mitch Mayne:

“My world was full of people who weren’t shy about telling me how to live my life — and on any given day, I couldn’t be Mormon enough for my Latter-day Saint family and friends, and I couldn’t be gay enough for my LGBT community. I felt like a man with a foot in two worlds, but I didn’t fully belong in either. No matter which one I chose, I still lost part of myself.

But today that’s different. Today, when someone tells me, “You can’t be both gay and Mormon,” I gently reply, “Watch me. I do it every day.”

And I am not alone.

Today, there are thousands — perhaps tens of thousands — of LGBT Mormons like me throughout the world, and we claim both our religious roots and our orientation without apology. We don’t view ourselves as “broken and suffering,” the way many inside Mormonism see us. Instead, we have come to realize that the only thing “broken” about us is the way we were taught to understand ourselves in relation to God and our fellow humans; and any “suffering” we have experienced has come largely at the hands of our brothers and sisters inside the Mormon church…”[3]

Now I realize that the next evidence is three years old, but the study group is large and, I think, very important! Back in 2016, the Journal of GLBT Family Studies published a survey of 587 Latter-day Saints that identified as a member of this community. “The purpose of the study was to evaluate patterns of family support and rejection in a large sample and links between psychosocial health and family acceptance.” [4] The question that fascinated me was how their families reacted to them when they came out as same-sex oriented. They found that they could divide all 587 answers into 5 dominant reaction categories. 1) Hostility and violence, 2) Conscience -stricken, 3) Avoidance, 4) Conditional Positivity and 5) Positive Affirmation. Of the 587 answers, I am just going to give a sampling of the group.

In the group that reacted with hostility the answers include:

      Severe rejection, hostility and name calling by parents
      Violent acts
      “You will be the reason we are not an eternal family”
      “They gave me one hour to pack my things and leave.”

In the group that was “conscience -stricken” the answers include:
      Strong feelings of guilt. Parents asked “what did we do wrong?”
      “My mom was embarrassed by me.”
      “My mom blamed herself.”

In the group of “avoidance,” (the largest group) the answers include:
      Strong belief in change.
      Significant embracing of myths
      Placed blame outside of the child
      Parents distanced themselves from the child

In the group of  “conditional positivity” the answers include:
      Encouraging and researching “cures”
      Conditional support as long as the child never acts on a relationship
      “Reassured me that they still love me but they can’t support me if I ever act on my orientation.”

And finally, in the group of “positive affirmation” the answers include:
      Siblings were more likely to have positive affirmation than parents
      “My family was thrilled and thought that I would be happier…”
      My parents were extremely supportive and told me that they would always love me and stand behind me regardless of how I choose to approach my homosexuality.”

Of the reaction categories, I was glad to see that extreme hostility was not common, but it was there. Shame and ignorance seemed to share the spotlight. It was a fascinating study of people trying so hard to move with the times as the light on our LGBTQ brothers and sisters gets brighter. We must increase the positive light.  We must live the first great commandment to love our neighbor.

What Jesus would do…are you with me?!

1. Let’s stop judging each other. Your relationship with your Heavenly Parents is private and no one is allowed in but you - why should it be different for anyone?

We all have but one “judge in Israel.” If we open our hearts to someone different than ourselves, we will begin to feel the kind of Christ-like love the Savior has for us. He doesn’t choose who to love. We must strive to remember the mote in our own eyes.

We are in no position to say who has God-like potential and who doesn’t. We all do. By shutting off our superiority complex we can be a force for good. We do the opposite and all we’re doing is shattering the first and second great commandments.

2. Be sincerely understanding and connected to every child of God no matter their sexuality. Avoid avoidance!

Well - I hate to be the bearer of honesty, but I will tell you this loud and clear: thanks to the hard work of their loving brothers and sisters that have gone before them, the new generation of our gay brothers and sisters, even the kids that I teach every day, are not afraid of who they are. They have decided that it is much easier to go through school by living their authentic selves. I used to pray and pray and worry and pray for my students that were still “in the closet” that they would stay there until after they graduated from high school just for their safety’s sake. I was wrong. They are strong and modern. They are O.U.T. and they need us to sincerely understand and connect to them without bias or prejudice in any way. THEY NEED OUR LOVE. Their sexuality does not define them any more than mine defines me. Social rejection is one of the worst things we can be part of - I will talk about that later. DO NOT REJECT THEM.

I read an article on social media about a member of a congregation that would not take the sacrament from a teenage boy that professed to be gay. Wow. If I was that boy, I would run so far and so fast. The fact that he is in church at all should be what we are celebrating.

I watched a video on LDS.org called Tonya's Story. Let me tell you - I learned so much from Tonya! One thing stood out to me as a light in my darkness. She said "He (her gay son) will work out the details of his mission here on earth with his Heavenly Father and we’re here (she and her husband) to just support and love him day by day.” Did we hear that?! Same-sex attraction, as a proportion of any person’s mission here on earth, is only between THAT person and GOD. Thank you, Tonya.[5] ONLY BETWEEN THAT PERSON AND GOD.

3. Do not despair! Be patient. We will understand all of this in God’s time. This is for everyone! Remember: God will not be pushed from behind! Time is a human convention, not a godly one. The longer we are patient the more our understanding will increase. Take a deep breath and leave this hard stuff to God. Quit worrying about it out loud (I’m talking to you, Lady at the Theatre) and use your energy to serve, love and learn.

Despair is real. I’ve seen both parents and their gay children living through it at the same time. Remember that ever blessing made possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Plan of Happiness is accessible to everyone. Despair leads to impatience. Trust the Lord. Don’t blame God for anything you don’t understand in this life. Let’s be patient together in love! It might sound so trite - but it’s everything! I’ve no doubt that one day the windows of heaven will open and we will all know the great and glorious plan of God in its entirety. I CAN’T WAIT!  Oh, wait…. yes I can. I will.

4. In the meanwhile, let’s stop trying to change to each other!
This is a little tricky because in the LDS church we teach each other. We don’t have a paid clergy with advanced degrees in Theology teaching us every Sunday.

As a result of this, I have heard all of the following things more than once:

a. “This could be fixed if they just married a woman (or man if they are a Lesbian), they would eventually learn to love her/him.”
Inside Jan’s mind: And eventually, they will destroy their spouses (and children’s) life. Yep. I’ve seen that storyline so many times that it hurts just thinking about it. Great if they choose that path on their own, but that is not an agenda we should be pushing. All humans deserve intimate love.

b. “Isn’t there some kind of therapy that will take the gay away?”
Sigh. I’ve heard the horror stories up close. I have cried in rage at the funeral of a student that simply decided he wasn’t going to go through the treatments anymore. There are still 70+ countries in which homosexuality is still illegal, and I’m betting they have tried every degrading, inhumane therapy there is to “solve” the problem and guess what? When we try to “fix” anyone we are telling them that they aren’t good enough for us, or for God.

c. “They don’t know what they’re missing!”
GAH! They would probably say the same thing to us.

d. “If they pray hard and long enough, their temptations will go away.”
See #B above. Sexuality itself isn’t a temptation. It’s part of your hormonal makeup. What I have learned from my students is that they didn’t learn it, pursue it or contract it. It was always there. Case in point – I once had a student that was cast as a leading man in a musical I was directing. He was distraught and pulled me into my office to ask me if I could re-block the stage kiss somehow. He was having such anxiety about kissing a woman. He asked me, “What if I asked you to kiss a woman on stage?” I couldn’t deny I would be fraught with anxiety as well. But his plight made it real for me. I answered him with a question in return “why did you audition if you knew what was ahead?” He said he hoped he could talk me out of it when it was too late to re-cast it. Stupid kid. We both learned a lot that day.

5.  Love unconditionally as Jesus would. What are we afraid of? We all know better!

From John the Beloved:

According to the Utah State Suicide Prevention Plan for 2017-2021, “Gay and transgender teens who were highly rejected by their parents and caregivers were more than eight times more likely to attempt suicide compared with gay and transgender teens who were only rejected a little by their parents and caregivers.”[7] Eight times!

6.  This is for everybody! Be sure to charge your spiritual battery by spending quality time in sacred places. No one cares more than your Father in Heaven.

I am willing to bet my life that Heavenly Father will soon bring his beloved LGBTQ children a multitude of answers and exquisite blessings as a reward for their patience.

For my LGBTQ brothers and sister out there that might be reading: I survived my celibacy because I knew my relationship with God was more important. I knew I had made promises to Him and I wanted to honor those covenants. Could I do that my whole life? Let’s pretend I didn’t marry the world’s greatest man. I’m very competitive with myself. I would want to meet that challenge considering the things I have been promised that lie ahead of me if I can endure to the end. I love a big trophy, after all. But...MY WHOLE LIFE?  I can’t even answer that honestly because now I am married. All I can do is layout unconditional love for you, my friends and students, that must navigate life, love and church using that special compass. Mine is a very small perspective, and again, I'm no expert. Because of the nature of my art and my job, I have had an overwhelming opportunity to get to know and love the LGBTQ community. I pray every day that we as a nation and a religion will honor your challenge with love and understanding.

EVERYBODY - Until we are given further light and knowledge, we must give everything and everyone the patience that God gives us.

  
Recipe for Chapter 6 -

Emergency! You need something sweet, but not too...and you have all that left-over buttercream from the recipe in chapter 4... but you don’t want to drag out ingredients. If I drag out all the ingredients then I will not stop at just a single serving. I don’t need to add that self-destructive feeling to my day either.  What to do?

Don’t worry I got you. Cake mix and microwave to the rescue!

Chocolate “Lava” Cake in a Mug (for One)
¼ cup of your favorite chocolate cake mix
3 T oil or (2 T oil and 2 T sour cream!)
3 T milk
Some chocolate chips, nuts, sprinkles and a couple of mini marshmallows (optional)

In a regular-sized mug, START with the oil and combine first three ingredients. (If you add the oil first, it won’t stick to the sides quite as easily.)

Bake in the microwave for 75 - 90 seconds - not more! There is no egg in this recipe and if you go more than 90 seconds you will burn it. All that work for nothing!

Add a scoop of ice cream to the end product?  Yes, please!


Homework Assignment for Chapter 6


I made a wedding cake for a gay couple a few months ago. When I showed the picture to my family, a few of them surprised me by saying “wait...is that legal in Utah?” (Sorry fam! I gave you away). My parents have welcomed all of my friends into their home for decades. I’m so grateful for their openness of heart. My families house has always had a revolving door for everyone, still, we can all use a little education to expand our love for each other. 

Let’s take a quiz! What is your basic knowledge of the LDS LGBTQ community? The following are statements taken directly from the LDS Church website “MormonandGay.churchofjesuschrist.org”  and the U.S. District Court for the District of Utah.

True or False? (1 point per each correct answer)

  1. TRUE  FALSE    The intensity of same-sex attraction is not a measure of your faithfulness. 
  2. TRUE  FALSE    A change in attraction cannot be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents or leaders.
  3. TRUE  FALSE     As a parent (or friend/relative) the least productive prayer is “why?” closely followed by “please take this away right now.”
  4. TRUE  FALSE     Since 2003, transgender persons can change their legal gender without surgery
  5. TRUE  FALSE    As Church members, we all have a responsibility to create a supportive and loving environment for all our brothers and sisters.
  6. TRUE  FALSE     Same-sex attraction (SSA) refers to emotional, physical, romantic, or sexual attraction to a person of the same gender.
  7. TRUE  FALSE     Same sex marriage has been legal in Utah since 2014
  8. TRUE  FALSE     People with same-sex attraction can hold church callings.
  9. TRUE  FALSE     You are not to blame yourself for your child’s same-sex attraction.
  10. TRUE FALSE Same sex attraction is no one’s fault. 

  11. Your final score? Here is some additional reading material if you are interested!
  1. That We May be One” by Tom Christofferson. At the very least you will be uplifted by a families unconditional love for their son.

      2. Everyone in the church should go to https://mormonandgay.churchofjesuschrist.org and watch            the videos and read the information provided for all of us.

         Answers to Quiz: They are all TRUE.




[1] C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
[2]Love is the Essence of the Gospel,” President Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, May 2014
[3]Refusing To Choose…” Mitch Mayne, HuffPost, September 15, 2016

[4]  Journal of GLBT Family Studies, A Mixed Methods Analysis, Mattingly, et.al, Vol. 12, 2016
[5]Refusing to Choose,” Mitch Mayne, Huff Post, September 15, 2016
[6] 1 John 4:18-21
[7] Caitlin Ryan, Family Acceptance Project















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